Richmond Carers Centre – Parent Carer

A mum who has been a lifelong carer for her son is now helping other people in her situation get help and advice after discovering the support for unpaid carers available in her local community.

Debra, 67, from Twickenham, is retired and cares for her son George, aged 44. George was born with brain damage and has a mental age of three. He currently lives with Debra and her husband, but she is seeking residential care for him because of her own health issues.

Debra said: “I do everything because he needs 24-hour care. At nighttime he doesn’t sleep well and wakes up a couple of times each night. I provide bedding, clothing – everything. He needs full support from me apart from when he goes to the day care centre and special needs education.”

Despite all the hours she looks after George, Debra never thought of herself as his carer.

She explained: “I felt it was my duty. He’s my son and I’m always his mum and his main carer, along with his dad. When we found out he had a disability – he walked late, he crawled late – I was shocked. For a couple of years, I suffered with depression and anxiety. Slowly, slowly I came out of that because I got other people involved and I realised I was not alone, other people were in the same situation as me.”

Visiting Richmond Carers Centre for the first time in 2016 helped Debra to appreciate the support that was out there. The centre is part of national charity Carers Trust’s network of local carer support organisations across the UK.

She said: “Richmond Carers Centre supported me with any problem I had and gave me emotional support. If I was depressed or had benefits problems, they gave me support and help, acting on my behalf and linking me with other local services to help with welfare support. They provided advocacy because sometimes I felt overwhelmed, and I couldn’t express myself. Sometimes finding the right support for my son is very challenging and I really needed their help.”

Debra said that local support has been vital to carers like her during the cost-of-living crisis. The soaring costs of food and energy bills in recent years has hit unpaid carers particularly hard because they are relied on by the people they care for, sometimes having to buy special food or keep life-saving machinery going at home.

She said: “The price of everything going up has hit us very badly.  Electricity, gas, rent, bills – they’ve really increased, and it means we’re struggling. It’s a very big issue. Sometimes it feels like we can’t survive. You know when a baby starts crawling, and then standing, but then falls down again – that’s what our life is like. We manage to stand and then a big bill comes along and knocks us down again.

“My husband and I have to work so hard to maintain our family. It’s like when you have a blanket, you pull it on one side and then the other side is uncovered. You pull again, and it leaves the other side empty. You can’t cover everything by yourself.

“But if you’re facing difficulties in London Borough of Richmond, you can come to Richmond Carers Centre. Carers and staff at the centre can meet together and we can help you find a solution. It makes life less hard. It helps us to survive.”

To find out more about Richmond Carers Centre, visit Home – Richmond Carers Centre.